Wednesday, 8 August 2007

Saturday and Sober... Phew!

Saturday Afternoon!  lol doesn't time fly. I keep losing my day's! at least this time im sober. The cat rescue programme I watched was touching. A cat saved his owner's life by waking the family and alerting them to the fact the lad was having a seizure. A real good feel factor ensued hearing all was well in the end. Friday was too busy too mention. the only good part of the day was when it was time to go to the local cafe and pick up the luxurious cooked food.

The full realization of the fact im resembling a whale more and more every day, isn't helping to deter me from eating this crap. If anything, im eating more!. Call it what you like, Comfort eating, etc...Its just pure greed. If i speeded up all my "sighs" after failing to improve my diet, it could help as a mini workout. or maybe not.why was there not a miracle cure by now? A chocolate covered miracle cure that would melt all your flab and have you resembling a sexy goddess in no time. I would buy it, well, if it was reasonable and very fast.

I always got told to love the body i had! hmmm this was no body at the moment, it was someone and something else looking back at me in the mirror. I've always been a kinda healthy 10 - 10 and a half stone but i could do things like hide it and move around and even feel not too bad about myself when the make up and togs were on, but now im 13 and a half stone, I feel like man mountain. Contemplated on smoking again just to try and shift it ,but im doing well and I refuse to start again on the grounds it will let all the "told you soers" say as much. Anyway i doubt smoking will be able to melt this much blubber.

Tried my mr motivator video i bought from the charity shop for 50p, I did well, lasted 3 days then kinda lost interest. Why oh why wasn't there an easier way?
Getting my jaws wired  was always another option but slightly drastic. Dont think everyone around me would survive if they were eating yummy food and i couldnt'! Nope that was a huge no-no. Another sigh, oh well If i remember what i've always been told. that the grass is always greener on the other side.The tall want to be small, the small want to be tall, the thin want to be fat and the fat want to be thin, that should ease  things for a bit longer. Good job im not feeling depressed!!!! lol x

Friday night was mainly to blame for this overwhelming fat feeling today. sweet n sour king prawn and a prawn cocktail. I even had the cheek to have a mug of coffee and a drifter afterwards! god im a pig. Any wonder i climbed into bed at 9pm feeling knackered and stuffed!

Glad to be home after a busy morning. The customers were nice on the phone which was a miracle after the last week, where they have all acted posessed, I did however, have a rather unpleasant journey home on the bus,

Firstly the usual suspects:  87yr old betty from the olympic trolley ramming event barged her way past me when I had been waiting there first, then 72 yr old jock, reeking of lager and stale smoke decided to have a conversation with a 40yr old loud and scary weirdo.who was 20 seats away from him.  They bellowed back and forth to each other about cat pooh, cat spray and placing bets!

My attention was wavered slightly when a claudia schiffer lookalike climbed on. hmmm that shut them up. Made me cover my cardi over my tummy discreetly muttering inwardly "bitch". nasty, i know! but i couldn't help it.

I wanted to take betty's stick and whack her with it, grab jocks ears and shake them, shout loudly the words "shut up" in the weirdo's face and lastly put a spell on claudia that she would end up 13 and a half stone by the morning! I feel my smile broadening, Oh what mischief still lurks in that old 37yr old mind of mine!.

Hard to believe a week ago I had humiliated myself by caking on the slap and going out. This was my sanctuary. Talking to you, Im secure, in my room, the world is secure! I found myself looking forward to coming home to carry on with this story and make my millions! yeah right. As if!, Tried the Euromillions lottery last night. I dont usually do it ,but i decided to give it a go since the jackpot was 36 million.

 I put 8 lines on. £1.50 a go. not too bad tho! I won absolutely sod all, but  "youve got to be in it, to win it" apparently. in what? shit? cos i am now iv wasted £10.50 lol.  Another sigh. I think i need a cuppa. how apt cascada is blaring out the song " i need a miracle" gosh what a psychic lady.

 I dont want much, just the mansion and the grounds and a home help and a driver and some kind of chef or cook to live next door. Funny to think I've always preached to people the words "if youve not got your health ,then youv'e not got anything" Money isnt everything. hmmm I think this worm has turned. I still believe the health bit, but long so much for the money bit. I never seem to have it for long in my hand before its shipped out to a bank. post office ,supermarket or child!

I've always said if i had big money i would put it to good use. Id love to have my own cattery and shelter for dogs that have been abandoned or ill treated. It sticks in my throat all those poor wee souls living in kennels.
I've kinda agreed to rehome a puppy who will be born soon and  who no doubt would  be looking at being put in kennels if i didnt . Funnily enough, It was on a saturday afternoon when i stupidly decided to go for a "quiet one" instead of doing the weekly shopping that I agreed to this..Saturdays and alcohol dont mix for me obviously!

 I dont know the chap all that well but after a lengthy conversation it was agreed it would be better off with me than anyone or anywhere else.Dont know what my 2 cats will make of it, but if it saves the wee thing going into kennels then so be it. I will sit purdie and oscar down and break it to them gently when the time is right! Im going to sign off for the night and watch the telly like a proper lounge lizard. Tomorrow I have the Sunday walking adventure to tell you all about!  That's the walk to the in-laws to say happy birthday. why the walk? hmmm the blubber needs to go! wish me luck.x

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