The "Sunday Walk"
God damn that chicken. managed to change the time to 7.15am so there is an extra 15 mins lie in, just need to remember to change the ringtone!! arghhhh. Only managed to be away from here for 2 days! Tuesday now and this is the first chance iv had to get settled in to my comfy chair and share all my "joys" with your good self! Well high's and low's!
The first "low" was the fact that I was rudely awakened on sunday morning to the noise of a strimmer outside my window at 9.30am. the "high"? hmm could there be a "high"? Well just as i was squinting through the blinds fumbling aimslessly for the chord to yank it up and glare out the window, thats when the "high" came...My lovely, lovely kind neighbour was cutting my garden. ahh bless. That shut me up.
The "low" wasn't far behind as i got refused clothes to borrow from my "little treasure" I had nothing nice to wear, was being harrassed to hurry up as we were all going for a lovely sunday walk to grandad's house to wish him well on his 40th (aherm.)...or so he said! birthday. Thats when the fighting broke out.
Always a recipe for disaster in any household, No breakfast, squabbling females, one selfish for not sharing, and one, feeling sorry for herself for being a whale and the man in the middle sighing and twitching all over the place constantly asking "Are you ready yet?" God if i was ready I would surely have said so. grrr.
Anyway the front door was locked and off we toddled. well, i waddled and huffed and puffed and got shin burn after 30 steps. I had instantly understood why heavy people can't move around fast.. Its because they bloody well can't! literally. I was struggling, This felt awful. Was I really only 37? waves of depression and nippiness ensued, especially when all i got was "c'mon keep up" I turned my eyes in the other direction took a big deep angry breath while gritting my teeth and told myself inwardly to ignore them.
I made it to tesco before demanding I ate,am as I was "starving" That went down well! not!. oh so what, It was 11.30am and my tummy was demanding to know what it had done wrong. Good Morning Sandwich Isle. mummy's here..... lol I got a baguette and a tub of pasta to "share" in case the roll wasnt enough. After a huge lecture on the salt content and fat content of pre-packed food. I crumpled up my empty wrapper, popped it in my bag and hoped I'd faint or fall and require a taxi.
Alas, it was not to be on this particular occasion.However my incredibly adventurous other half had now led me and "grumpy" into the woods as a fun thing! hmmm Nothing fun here. Oh No.! Jaggie nettles and thistle bushes the size of me were now enveloping me and stinging hell out of me and my little treasure, as she was wearing three quarters and had bare legs!! ouch. After a few squeals from us both I decided to take action and stand still and hauler at the top of my lungs
"Rightttttttt, No way are we carrying on in here" The almost laughing voice came back telling us if we weren't happy, then we were to just turn back and get on the adjoining path!!!! grrrr It felt like id walked half a mile along here and I was having to turn back! God this wasn't funny and i was mad. I stomped back out on to the path almost knocking over a "walker" who was 5 stone o and power walking!, I couldn't stop whinging the whole time about her father being an idiot! that I drew a couple of funny looks from the mounting fitness freaks who had descended on this very part of the path!
This was definately another "low" of the day. then the worst "low" was to instantaneously follow: In the distance was none other than Crocodile Dundee himself emerging from the depths of the jungle heading straight towards a flippin bench. We had miles to go. I thought inwardly some very very bad thoughts and growled at grumpy not to speak to me at all.
This was a happy day out. a nice sunday walk. Did other families experience all this hostility? all this exertion? happy my backside. I was furious and knackered and felt like crying but hey ho we were there, finally and i got a seat and a cuppa and a bit of delicious birthday cake. Soon the horrible walking had become a distant memory and I found myself wondering if i'd imagined the day at all as we were dropped off at the supermarket just before teatime after a lovely day sitting chatting in the garden.
There wassomething quite endearing about walking around a supermarket pushing a trolley, filling it with comforting lovelies. I did however remember the awful feeling of whaleness and added loads of veg and fruit to the trolley. Home was calling me and I was listening. After choosing a rather bizarre cooked breakfast for sunday tea, Well! Id earned it.I decided on bed. That walk had floored me, big time. I was gonna get a good sleep, well gonna try my best! xx