Friday, 28 December 2007

"The Lift"

Woke up with a sore back today and had to come home from work early because of It. Karma calling I think! A lot easier now after paracetamol, hot cuppa's and plenty of Quality Street. Going to go for a hot bath in a bit. Decided to scrap my last entry as I didn't want reminded of my bad behaviour and also didn't feel worthy of comments. For those who did post... Thank You.  Decided to think of happier times. One in particular was a day on holiday a couple of years back.

There was a lot of my family there and one morning my nephew decided we should try "The Lift" from Dirty Dancing! Hmmm. A challenge, If ever I heard one! Best place we both agreed on was In the pool. Pity It was the afternoon and a good few people were soaking up the sunshine, enjoying the peace. Well, not for long! lol. We tried and tried and even with the whole gravity thing supposedly making It easier, It just wasn't working, I flew to the sides and crashed under the water and that was when I was lucky enough to get In the air! Holding the ballerina come aeroplane pose was almost impossible.

Every time he tried to lift me, I squealed as I felt his thumbs going through my ribs! and we couldn't stop laughing. I didn't remember Baby and Johnny having so much bother!  Gosh when I think of those poor people spectating, not the prettiest of sights!  I do know, that I can't remember the last time I laughed so much and whenever I remember back, It makes me smile. It was a very funny thing to do In a pool. The next time you go swimming, give It a go and see If you can manage It. If nothing else, you are sure to get a good laugh. Right on that fine note, I'm off for my nice relaxing bath now. Take Care. Back Soon. xx


Sunday, 23 December 2007

Merry Christmas

Merry christmas & Happy New Year

Well. that's the last of the shopping almost done! lol. I have tomorrow after work to grab anything that I have missed, I bought Double Cream in my food shopping, so I must remember Brandy Snaps! It's one of my favourite christmas goodies, The other is Chocolate Liqueurs, mmmm. I don't buy them for myself though! I spend weeks letting the household know that's what I want!. Oh and I have asked for a teapot aswell this year! Pushing the boat out a bit there I think! lol. Time to love you and leave you now.    

I Hope You all have a wonderful time. Lots of Love and Kisses, Pam xxx

A Wee Something To Make You Smile!

Subject: Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk

a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...

a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...

a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

Saturday, 22 December 2007


This Is something that has been playing on my mind for a while now, You know the old saying "better out than In"? Well.... here goes. At this time of year, when we are all getting festive, busily doing our cards, shopping, baking etc. There always seems to be someone, somewhere who has reached so far down, there can be no return for them. I get so frustrated and just want to do something to find these people and beg them to rethink. It always seems to be such an impossible task that has ended so tragically for some of my friends, One in particular, a very good friend indeed and It shook my world to hear that he hung himself just over a year ago. Totally out of the blue. He was such a gentle caring person. Depression Is such a cruel and hard battle. From my own personal experience a while back, at that time, the feelings were overwhelming and the want and the desire to stop It all, were massive. So easy to shut off, curl up and sneak off.

I was lucky. I'm here.  What about the rest of the people out there? There are always things thrown at us, that makes us feel unbearable grief, and then, just when we think It can't get much worse...It does! It gets you again and sometimes again after that. A few very wise people guided me through some pretty awful times, with little sayings and thoughts that I would grab hold of and ponder on for ages. There are choices, we all know that. Everyone has their own personal demons to face throughout their lifetime and I believe we are all here for a reason and we are all tested. Mind though, Whoever wrote the test paper for that one ought to be smacked round the ears really hard! lol.

I am a firm believer that you can only reach total rock bottom once in your life. You may come close again, but strength and determination and many other factors seem to take the reigns, like family and friends etc. Without sounding like some kind of preacher, I, empathise with anyone who feels so low, at this time of year especially, and I, urge anyone In this position, to reach out to someone who can help. There Is always someone, somewhere, who knows and recognises those same thoughts. Christmas can be what you make It. If you need someone, Please, I urge you. Take  just one step and speak out. Writing in a journal can be such a boost so go on, give It a go, You have nothing to lose!

I would finally like to share this poem with you all, as I think It speaks volumes and hope It can show anyone else in this position, that they are not alone. I am especially proud, that my sister who has been battling depression has written this. It's absolutely beautiful, and Sheila? for each day that passes, You will get stronger and happier and more confident. Well Done. Lots of Love. Your wee sis Pam xx  

It is always darkest before the dawn

When all around is confusion and no-one understands
The blackness becomes tempting free from every sound

Gently floating softly towards a warmer place
stress, strain and worry no longer etch your face

Then quietly creeps in morning the blackness starts to fade
the sun shines brightly and youre suddenly in shade

As seratonin balances the darkness of your mind
the hope for the future is easier to find

So when you think life's over and you would like to slip away
remember mental illness is like the light of day

Strength to travel through the night will bring its own reward
It's always darkest before the dawn believe me, I am right.

Sheila Richardson
Copyright ©2007  SheilaRichardson

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Almost Kidnapped! lol

I was reminded earlier of this wee incident from the past, so I thought It only fair that I share it with you all. Possibly not one of my better Ideas!. Now, lol, try and not judge too much, please bear in mind....I'd had a few, and thought I was doing the right thing!

After a rather hectic time at work a while back, I agreed to go to a wee party afterwards to unwind and have a wee dram. Hmmm. Around 4.30am when things were in full swing...In otherwards I'd just finished doing the dishes and giving out my usual lecture on steeping pots, I was ushered out the kitchen and and into the livingroom where people were singing and dancing and some even sleeping, I was handed a rather large glass and plonked next to my wonderfully gay friend who began to tell me a story I kind of wished he hadn't!

He started off telling me about his neighbour's dog who was being very badly treated. He told how the owners shouted, smacked and beat the poor thing with a stick and locked it in the shed. He said the welfare people had called but nothing happened. Wrong thing to tell me at the best of times but after booze?. Oh dear. We had another few drinks and talked more. We hatched a plan. Kidnap was the only way. We decided that the dog would be far better off with me and as for my other half? well, he would just have to get used to it, As for the cats? them too. We covered all options really.

The taxi was called. The rain was battering down outside and we told the other partygoers we were just popping out and would be back in a bit! We asked the taxi driver If we could bring a dog back in his taxi and with a puzzled look he said yes and we got his card! lol Goodness knows what he must have thought! We arrived at the house in question and crept behind the style in the garden. We only had one umbrella and the rain was horrendous. The ground was so muddy and slippy. Oh! I shudder, thinking back.

We were whispering about how I would be the best person to tiptoe to the shed to release the dog. I could hear giggling as I crept towards the shed. I shooshed him and felt I was starring in an episode of Cagney and Lacey!  Damn it! The shed was locked as I pulled at the door. I did several kissy noises making certain there was no pet inside!.

We hadn't planned for that!. So the only other reasonable, next manoevre was, of course, to go and ring the bell and ask If the dog was being kept in the shed and If it was being badly treated and lastly to ask If they wanted to keep It, as I could take it home there and then!. Oh dear god! I can't believe I did it!. My friend was past hysterical hiding In the bushes under the umbrella, as I slid across the mud and rang the doorbell

To my absolute horror, one of those really loud musical doorbells echoed round the whole street and lights started going on everywhere. I felt slightly uneasy but the drink gave me courage and  I stood my ground, I was on a mission to save an abused defenseless animal. As a very awkward conversation took place with the owner, The woman answered my questions. She said the dog was sleeping in the kitchen and nervously said nobody hit it. When I asked if she wanted me to take it home, she hesitated then said no, It was okay!

I said "Right then!" I will be off now but If I hear of anything bad happening to that dog like it being locked in the shed or hit with a stick ever again, I will be back!. I asked her If she understood and she said "Yes" I said "goodnight" and walked away in the opposite direction of the house and my friend in the bushes. Once her lights went off, My friend ran round the corner to where I was. It took him a while to get himself together. I was soaking, but even though I was pretty well oiled with booze, I felt a small sense of relief that hopefully I had put the wind up her a bit. Lol. Awww The Good Old Day's!

We got our taxi back to the party and had another couple of wee dram's to get over the trauma of it all.  My friend said he never once heard the dog being hit or locked in the shed after that! which has continued to this day.It turned out to be a fantastic result!  Drastic measures, I know, but hey, Everything Is meant for a reason! lol xx

Getting Cosy!

Firstly, can I just say a very big Thank You to everybody that left a comment or email message for me. I almost keeled over when I saw how many I had. For one horrible moment I thought, while under the Influence, I had struck up some kind of deal with guido trying to make it big, in my bid for fame and success!  lol.  Alas, that was not the case, considering I stumbled on guido's page by pure accident, I was just lucky enough to be on the right page at the right time! lol and boy! am I glad I did!. There will be a rather large glass of either Brandy and Lemonade or Bacardi and Diet Coke raised in the air towards you all on Christmas morning lol. 

Decided to miss the usual Christmas Tipple last year until way after dinner! Hmmmm. What a silly move! lol. I was too stuffed and exhausted to lift the glass let alone attempt to take part in the usual Christmas day extremely competitive games, quizzes and sing-a-longs! For, there only being 3 of us, It's amazing how much noise we can muster up! lol Bet the neighbours loved the peace last year! Well this year, It will be back to normal! lol. Dinner will be on the table for no later than 2pm. I will just make sure my glass comes with me when I have my usual bath in the morning along with choccies and bath goodies. Awww. I think I just got a twinge of excitement.

For some reason, It hasn't  felt very Christmassy this year. I don't know If anyone else has noticed this? or Is It maybe just me? What I do know though, Is how absolutely freezing It Is!. I took ages to heat up last night. I was wrapped up  In 4 layers aswell and still couldn't get warm. Can't believe that earlier today, I agreed to have a test run for our Christmas Dinner..... lol bought a huge stuffed Pork Roast, Roast Tatties, Carrots and yorkshire puddings! Tasted amazing on Sunday!! lol  Now, can you all tell we love our food here? lol.

I have the cheek to grumble about being a lot heavier than usual! Well, Hmmm, I wonder why! lol. Och, If the truth be known, This Is the one  time of year that  everyone should be having big hot meals and be all cosied up with the fire on doing something they love! Ooeer! within reason of course! lol  Must go just now and refill my cup of tea and check the oven. Back Soon. xx  

Thursday, 13 December 2007

A Stressful Morning!

Worst start to a day in a very long time. Left the house at the usual time to walk down my huge steep hill. Got to the very bottom and heard a voice from within saying "Where is your purse?" "In my bag" was my inward reply. Decided to double check and walked over to the closest pillar to look in my bag when I stood on an enormous dog poo! Hmmm. Flitting between wiping my foot and searching my bag, I started to panic as I had 15 mins to catch my bus.

I double checked my pockets and after saying a few loud and very choice words, I started to march furiously towards the bottom of the hill. I glanced across the road and saw a young lady waiting at the bus stop. Yesss I headed back the few yards and crossed over asking her if the bus was due now. I got a very strange look as she said "yes". I mumbled in a stressed voice how I'd lost my purse and was panicking in case I was going to be late. She stared and gave me a slight nod and forced a half smile.

The bus appeared moments later and the penny dropped! Hmmm.(not the best phrase!)  I shouted and swore at the top of my voice that I had no purse. At that point she looked terrified and side stepped me to climb on as I raked in the bottom of my bag furiously for loose change. The bus had waited a few moments on me and I roared "Yesss, I've found a pound" holding it up in the air. I was only going 2 stops but It was greasy fast lightning speed I needed now to catch my bus.

I jumped off at my stop and legged it up the stairs to the house grabbed the flaming purse and flew back down stairs, ran across the road and got halfway to the next bus stop when the bus was almost there. I had to run, almost backwards waving my arm and bag out towards the road like a mad woman posessed. I climbed on, panting and puffing like an old cart horse and asked for the wrong place!

The driver and an extremely full bus were all staring as I insisted on my destination....(which of course was the one I was at!) Oh dear! I realised my mistake and burst out laughing and muttered that it was not a good day all the way to my seat!
I, unbelievably, made my original bus!  These things are sent to try us!  Roll on the weekend. lol. Take Care. Back Soon. xxx 

Saturday, 8 December 2007

Ginger Cat

Saturday night and feeling good! Well hello my lovely darlings. Hard to believe I'm on 7.5% wine! lol. Had fabulous feedback from Rosebud and we have been texting back and forth our opinions on the XFactor. Semi final night and we're gripped. Saw snow falling outside the window earlier so had to make sure we had our "foster" cat indoors! Well! The person who owns her, couldn't care less whether she is alive or dead, so, as far as I'm concerned, she is welcome in this house, whenever she wants. She has her own bed.......(the end of ours) lol and she isn't any bother, she has stayed here for four months and been elsewhere for four nights during that time.

Ginger Cat is her name and she is very much a part of our family. She fits in just fine here as she loves her food! Hmm. The Daddy of the house took a lot of persuading as he insisted she lived along the road and wasn't our responsibility which, was true to a point. Except her owners have proved time and time again, that they are totally irresponsible as pet owners, as I have discovered, so rather than reporting them for being negligent, Ginger Cat stays here every night and has a fabulous meal, every day along with fresh water.

The wee lamb was so adoreable  tonight, as she had obviously never seen a Christmas Tree or decorations before, by her reaction. I swallowed the lump in my throat and  had to reassure her, it was okay. She did a very slow dance towards the tree and sniffed the decorations very warily.she lay down on the top of the t.v. and started to chew the red garland that was laid there. Awwww my poor baby. We assured her it was all cool. She is now cosied up cuddling in to the back of my wee treasure.

So glad that this is now the weekend. No hassles, No stress, Yeahhh, It's Fabulous and I'm feeling contented. Waheyyyy. lol. Fingers crossed for tonight's lottery. Roll on the time I can own my own cattery and take care of all the strays that need a happy, cosy home.The Mama is waiting. xxx

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

My Rosebud.

Tuesday again, this could be the new Saturday for me! lol back in my fav seat with the soothing tones of Mr Buble, making me shake my face, while pouting to his jazzy rhythmns. Had a pretty usual day at work, glad to get home and get all cosy comfy here. I spent the whole journey home on the bus remembering some pretty random stuff from the past, so Instead of whining about the weather or waffling the same old weekly nonsense, I decided I would take a trip down memory lane and share a few stories.

My sister who we shall call "Rosebud" is 2 years older than me, she couldn't be more different in so many ways, for example: She is tall, I'm a pixie. She is thin,  I'm whalelike, She has beautiful hair, I look like an African Bushwoman. You get the general just here? lol, well, we are the closest in age out of all the sisters and we had our fair share of battles when growing up. I possibly won't be forgiven or could even be battered for mentioning some of those, but what the heck! Life is far too short.( she says, looking out her passport and case! lol )

I remember the two of us, sliding down the stairs inside sleeping bags, sitting on bed pillows. On one occassion, madam pushed me from the top of the stairs, deliberately, so I faked death at the bottom, a very brave move on my part, as there was the inevitability of a good old fashioned beating when I was rumbled. I kept it up for ages, lying as still as possible while tears dripped on my face and I could hear the wails of "Oh no" ," What have I done?" and  "I'm so sorry, "Please wake up".  When I braved it and opened my eyes laughing, I, took a rather severe beating!

Rosebud just loved to persuade me to climb on the handlebars of her bike and pedal like mad towards the biggest hill in our street. I remember screaming as the bike tore down hill and eventually crashed into the old stone causeway wall, as I flew over it at top speed! Ahhh the good old days! lol. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. We got in all sorts of trouble, always blaming each other. An all time classic was an altercation after a saturday afternoon lunch.

We were sat at the table, just the two of us, always a recipe for disaster. Can't remember how it started exactly, but I do, however, remember reading the paper and being bugged to "look", when I lowered the paper, I got a spoonful of jam flicked in my face, followed by very loud laughter! so I threw food back and ran round the table several times being chased, when I ran out the front door, I pulled it shut behind me! oopsie! I heard her foot go through one of the several small panes of glass. My poor dad had got such a fright when he heard, as he thought we had smashed the two enormous glass patio doors! lol.

My all time favourite story involving us both, was one of my dear old Aunts. To put you in the picture, our Auntie Mabel had a very deep, husky and slow, extremely well spoken  voice. She was our poshest relative! It was around Teatime at my parents' when the phone rang and I answered to disgusting heavy breathing. I kept saying "Hello"? "Hello"? "Who is that"?. After no answer, I hung up. It rang again. The same thing happened. I said "Please stop phoning" "Thats disgusting" I told Rosebud, as I was upset and she reassured me it was okay, she said if the phone rang again, she would deal with it.

The phone rang 10 mins later and she twirled the phone lead round the door into the bathroom and said some very, very, bad and threatening words to my mystery dirty phonecaller. To our utter horror, the phone rang again and our mother answered it saying " Oh Hello Aunt Mabel" "Are you okay?" Apparently she was pretty shaken up after phoning a "wrong number" and getting loads of abuse!! Oopsie!  Aww Rosebud, we had a lot of fun.

We topped and tailed for years, I miss that sometimes,especially, If I feel really sad, even now, at 37! lol. It's hard to believe you will be 40 really soon and I wish you a very happy day. I Love you very much. Thanks for the laughs and for being my big sis. xxxxxxxx