Wednesday, 8 August 2007

Monday...I'm Bad Again!

Mon 9th shouldv'e been fri 13th!

Monday 7am and that blasted alarm with the rude chicken song was blaring out. No way!. time for work. 9-5.30pm busy day with the phone constantly ringing. Good for business.... bad for me! No sooner was my day at work over, that I found myself heading off to visit my relative to celebrate another birthday.

This is where i got it so wrong yet again, After an initial...."No wine for me thanks," "I'm working in the morning and dont drink the night before work", also still feeling the effects from saturday night,.... I got absoulutely hammered and "apparently" started hurling insults or so i was informed the next morning.Oh god, what was going on? Why was i behaving like a ned or chav or och far too many names to choose from. My point? I was an idiot and woke up Tuesday morning to find I hadn't remembered getting home or throwing up in the bath! and worse of all was that flaming alarm at 7am belting out the chicken song!

Tuesday? where did monday go? I lost monday. I felt like an old nasty alky. With my tail tucked in tight. I sent the apologetic text messages genuinely meaning every word and feeling really rotten about being so out of order the night before but unfortunately got no reply...made me feel worse, but my own fault indeed.
That was it. Definately No more alcohol, and id meant it. I couldnt believe i was feeling so ill and bad.

If i thought monday was busy, i was in for a huge shock with Tuesday. It was constant. The only saving grace to ease the stress of the guilt and hangover was the fact I'd found a takeaway nearby that made a fried egg and bacon roll. Lunch time couldn't come sooner! ahhh thank god. I lost count of the amount of liquids consumed during the day, Having to undo my button and zip of my trousers to sit down at my desk told me I'd drank a fair bit! I just wanted to rewind back to saturday when i felt safe and secure sitting here typing, without the wine and going out bit of course! I needed under that duvet.

Wednesday 7am chicken song time still feeling so ill and humiliated and yes of course it had to be another busy day at work. seemed to be only grumpy whingy whiny customers complaining. Karma. I spent a lot of time sighing and inwardly hoping the phone would die.  Staff off on holiday's made the place quieter but so much worse with  feeling this way.The office had an echo with every small sound when the phone wasnt torturing me.

Ended up being an hour and a half late getting home waiting on my lift, It gave me time to think.What did i need drink for? and why didn't i have a cut off point? or have a cup of tea instead? hmmm my favourite word was back,hmmmm, the answer unfortunately was that I had no cut off point. I drink to get drunk the words binge drinker springs to mind!  it has to stop.

Thursday night and im here, no need to bore you with the crappy details of my horrendously busy and stressful day and of course the wonderfully charming and welcoming 7am chicken song. I must make a mental note of changing the alarm tone to anything at all. and soon.Its 9pm and im exhausted after being summoned to the livingroom to be told I must now go and make a cup of tea and watch a programme about a cat who saves a family! I will however, be back tomorrow evening after work to let you know how my life has been. lol bet you can't wait! nite nite. sleep well. x

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