Almost the Big 4-Oh!

Hello Everyone, I just want to firstly say 'Lisa, Get well soon, I am thinking of you'. Isn't It funny how nobody mentions all the rotten Illnesses we all seem to get when we reach a certain milestone! I am now just 4 months away from that scary pair of numbers. The dreaded big 4-0h! lol. Funny though, that you can be put through such an emotional rollercoaster at the 'fear' factor In everything and still carry on as normal at the other side of It all! I have worried myself sick over the silliest of things and panicked at the silliest too. Grey hair? och so what! I have been dying my hair for years, surprised I still have hair to worry about! Then the ' No more kids moments' Am I mad? I have a Teenager!!!!!! Then the retirement worry of being poor? Hey... I've always been poor! so that won't make a difference.

I have, and continue to battle with my self conscience on a daily basis about silly worries. Apparently this Is normal when approaching middle age! I have the 'Regret' pangs too like why wasn't I a Millionaire Winner? then I could have fullfilled my wishes to all my friends to help them. I know and believe that there is a reason for everything, (would like to haggle with the big man up there about the last one though! lol.) I feel I have had a wee test of endurance of late and have managed to stay relatively sane! I had a wonderful reprieve from the Bowen therapy treatment but unfortuanely It was short lived. My mri showed a Bulging Disc In my neck which Is pinching a nerve causing the constant pain In my left arm. My back and neck feel strange and sore and at times I was ready to throw in the towel. I have been signed off work for a few weeks, taking It easy and I must admit sitting still, filled with painkillers really helps!

I have to get a brain scan this Friday which I am dreading. I hate anything like that! I just hope they find my brain! lol. I am going back to work next week. My boss has been great and I will be taking It very easy. I am like a caged animal In this house! displaying 'snappy croc' & 'Growly Bear' syndrome!! lol. Pain has a way of dragging you through all your emotions and making you address them all at the one time!. I had 3 days In a row of almost pain free moments which was fabulous. I get up with Pins and needles in my hands and feet and then the joint pain in my fingers on my left hand slowly starts. I will be seeing a neurologist and a rheumatologist very soon. Need to rule out Arthritis. As for the Bulging Disc? I have read up on It and It could be special excercises or surgery. It has been some experience though. Hopefully I can be repaired! lol. Anyway I will quit moaning because that is all thats wrong with me. I am very grateful for that. To everyone experiencing constant pain, my heart goes out to you. May you find a way to ease this burden. On a happier note we have a new addition to our family In the form of... wait for it.... a Hamster!!!

My nephew asked If we could rehome her as his friend needed her to go asap. I, of course In all my wisdom said yes! I have 3 cats and of course I said yes! My daughter now has Rambo in her room. yes you read that bit right, they called this cute adorable little Girl 'Rambo'! We have had several hamsters before and I have Introduced them to the cats, who get a stern talking to at the meeting about how this Is the 'baby' and how they are not to go near! They have all met rambo now and have given me filthy looks as If to say 'oh no, not another one!' lol, I could never trust them alone with a hamster though, so It Is back to strict rules. Obsessive Closed Door sydrome! lol. Right, I have surely almost written a novel so I will go now and get some breakfast. Take Care, Back Soon. Love Pam. xx