Saturday, 7 November 2009

Not Quite Right!

Hello Everyone. I was just thinking back to my very first entry Saturday Night Glass In Hand! and have really felt I have come a long way. I am not sure If, however, this Is such a good way!. Having an 'off' day today I think! I went for my hospital appointment on Thursday and have been a bit dazed and even dopey since then. I was seeing the Rheumatologist who turned out to be lovely. I was so sure I would be In and out her wee room and be told It was the Bulging Disc In my neck causing all the problems, that I went by myself. Silly mistake!

After an examination I listened Intently as she started going through the possibilities of what was wrong with me. I have to get several more tests to confirm one of them. Psoriatic Arthritis was the 1st on the list. I was to leave her room and go and get bloods done and x- rays of my hands and feet, then go to the pharmacy to get stronger medicine. The next possibility was Carpel Tunnel Syndrome. I heard the words mri scan to be arranged for my left hand and an appointment with a podiatrist and O.T. to get splints for my hands at night! There would be an appointment made for me to see a nerve specialist, this will be In the same department as the 1st specialist I am waiting to go see but this person will do something different!

I forced myself to try and remember as much as possible of what was being said to me as I sat there with my head spinning. I asked If this could not all be because of my neck ad was told no. So, there I was lost, after leaving her wee romm, now wandering the hospital armed with all this stuff to go to all the different places and I felt very alone and really scared and very sore where she had examined my arm and had lifted It high to the side.

I held In the tears and clutched my 'Yours' Magazine. I sat In the room waiting on the phlebotomist to come take my blood and I flicked through the pages and found Janes' story. I looked at the pictures and was just about to flood the ward when I was taken! I decided It best to wait until Home before looking at anything else. Jane, I felt you beside me In that hospital along with your strength and determination. If you are selling any I'm first in the queue!!

I don't know what will happen to me now. My hands and feet are failing me and I am 39. yes I am feeling a wee bit sorry for myself today, a wee bit annoyed and even more so, I am frustrated, as I don't know what my future will hold, but I do know one thing, At the moment I HAVE a future come what may and for that I am very grateful. I will have my tears and get them out the way and then get ready to tackle this as best as I can. Apologies for not getting round your journals. I am here and will keep posting when I can. If ever anyone needs me, mail me at, If I can help at all, I will certainly do my best. Take Care, Back Soon, Love Pam. xx


mortonlake said...

hence the txt my dear pam huh??dont worry mort my rear end.pain is awful,it wears you out,eats away at i suggest you open your YOURS,have that good cry.tears heal.ive shed enough myself to cure half of norfolk,lol,but you also need to rest yourself,and be sensible.i shall know wednesday what my dr.has to say about my disc.i may be posting shortly after too lol.we need a tandem wheelchair love,lol.take care my friend,im laways here if you need me,love mort xxxx lovely pics of jane in yours.mum looked at me askance when i grabbed it first lolol

Andy said...

Jane is an inspiration to us all.

Anyway wwelcome to the wonderful world of the NHS. Over the last year I have seen it at first hand and I can honestly say that the majority of staff are very caring and helpful, Anyway hope you feel better soon.
ps Have I told you that i have entered you for the London marathon next year! If you want to e mail

Jane said...

'Going on your own' - oh yes, thats a mistake Ive made before.
Then you cant possibly remember the 4 dozen things you are told and expected to digest.
No wonder you were tearful Pam - tears of frustration no doubt.
As we are sharing emails then here is mine and please feel free, all of you, to email any time,


Yasmin said...

I remember your first post last year:), hope all goes well my mum had Carpal Tunnel syndrome and once operated on it was ok, I know how you feel aches and pains etc have been plaguing me for the last four years sometimes i've been unable to walk and I'm only 44 it's good right now but give it a few weeks and it starts all over again along with the depression that comes with it, as they say one day at a time. Sorry to moan always good to hear from you.

Take care


Slacker Mom said...

So glad to see a post from you, but sorry you are having such a rough time right now. I hope you find your strength and your doctors help you through!

You stay on my mind!~