Not Quite Right!

Hello Everyone. I was just thinking back to my very first entry Saturday Night Glass In Hand! and have really felt I have come a long way. I am not sure If, however, this Is such a good way!. Having an 'off' day today I think! I went for my hospital appointment on Thursday and have been a bit dazed and even dopey since then. I was seeing the Rheumatologist who turned out to be lovely. I was so sure I would be In and out her wee room and be told It was the Bulging Disc In my neck causing all the problems, that I went by myself. Silly mistake!

After an examination I listened Intently as she started going through the possibilities of what was wrong with me. I have to get several more tests to confirm one of them. Psoriatic Arthritis was the 1st on the list. I was to leave her room and go and get bloods done and x- rays of my hands and feet, then go to the pharmacy to get stronger medicine. The next possibility was Carpel Tunnel Syndrome. I heard the words mri scan to be arranged for my left hand and an appointment with a podiatrist and O.T. to get splints for my hands at night! There would be an appointment made for me to see a nerve specialist, this will be In the same department as the 1st specialist I am waiting to go see but this person will do something different!

I forced myself to try and remember as much as possible of what was being said to me as I sat there with my head spinning. I asked If this could not all be because of my neck ad was told no. So, there I was lost, after leaving her wee romm, now wandering the hospital armed with all this stuff to go to all the different places and I felt very alone and really scared and very sore where she had examined my arm and had lifted It high to the side.

I held In the tears and clutched my 'Yours' Magazine. I sat In the room waiting on the phlebotomist to come take my blood and I flicked through the pages and found Janes' story. I looked at the pictures and was just about to flood the ward when I was taken! I decided It best to wait until Home before looking at anything else. Jane, I felt you beside me In that hospital along with your strength and determination. If you are selling any I'm first in the queue!!

I don't know what will happen to me now. My hands and feet are failing me and I am 39. yes I am feeling a wee bit sorry for myself today, a wee bit annoyed and even more so, I am frustrated, as I don't know what my future will hold, but I do know one thing, At the moment I HAVE a future come what may and for that I am very grateful. I will have my tears and get them out the way and then get ready to tackle this as best as I can. Apologies for not getting round your journals. I am here and will keep posting when I can. If ever anyone needs me, mail me at classdiamond@aol.com, If I can help at all, I will certainly do my best. Take Care, Back Soon, Love Pam. xx