Almost the Big 4-Oh!

Hello Everyone, I just want to firstly say 'Lisa, Get well soon, I am thinking of you'. Isn't It funny how nobody mentions all the rotten Illnesses we all seem to get when we reach a certain milestone! I am now just 4 months away from that scary pair of numbers. The dreaded big 4-0h! lol. Funny though, that you can be put through such an emotional rollercoaster at the 'fear' factor In everything and still carry on as normal at the other side of It all! I have worried myself sick over the silliest of things and panicked at the silliest too. Grey hair? och so what! I have been dying my hair for years, surprised I still have hair to worry about! Then the ' No more kids moments' Am I mad? I have a Teenager!!!!!! Then the retirement worry of being poor? Hey... I've always been poor! so that won't make a difference.

I have, and continue to battle with my self conscience on a daily basis about silly worries. Apparently this Is normal when approaching middle age! I have the 'Regret' pangs too like why wasn't I a Millionaire Winner? then I could have fullfilled my wishes to all my friends to help them. I know and believe that there is a reason for everything, (would like to haggle with the big man up there about the last one though! lol.) I feel I have had a wee test of endurance of late and have managed to stay relatively sane! I had a wonderful reprieve from the Bowen therapy treatment but unfortuanely It was short lived. My mri showed a Bulging Disc In my neck which Is pinching a nerve causing the constant pain In my left arm. My back and neck feel strange and sore and at times I was ready to throw in the towel. I have been signed off work for a few weeks, taking It easy and I must admit sitting still, filled with painkillers really helps!

I have to get a brain scan this Friday which I am dreading. I hate anything like that! I just hope they find my brain! lol. I am going back to work next week. My boss has been great and I will be taking It very easy. I am like a caged animal In this house! displaying 'snappy croc' & 'Growly Bear' syndrome!! lol. Pain has a way of dragging you through all your emotions and making you address them all at the one time!. I had 3 days In a row of almost pain free moments which was fabulous. I get up with Pins and needles in my hands and feet and then the joint pain in my fingers on my left hand slowly starts. I will be seeing a neurologist and a rheumatologist very soon. Need to rule out Arthritis. As for the Bulging Disc? I have read up on It and It could be special excercises or surgery. It has been some experience though. Hopefully I can be repaired! lol. Anyway I will quit moaning because that is all thats wrong with me. I am very grateful for that. To everyone experiencing constant pain, my heart goes out to you. May you find a way to ease this burden. On a happier note we have a new addition to our family In the form of... wait for it.... a Hamster!!!

My nephew asked If we could rehome her as his friend needed her to go asap. I, of course In all my wisdom said yes! I have 3 cats and of course I said yes! My daughter now has Rambo in her room. yes you read that bit right, they called this cute adorable little Girl 'Rambo'! We have had several hamsters before and I have Introduced them to the cats, who get a stern talking to at the meeting about how this Is the 'baby' and how they are not to go near! They have all met rambo now and have given me filthy looks as If to say 'oh no, not another one!' lol, I could never trust them alone with a hamster though, so It Is back to strict rules. Obsessive Closed Door sydrome! lol. Right, I have surely almost written a novel so I will go now and get some breakfast. Take Care, Back Soon. Love Pam. xx

Feeling Guilty

Hello everyone. I am so sorry for being away so long. I know i wrote that at the beginning of the last entry but It Is truly sincere...again! lol. Where have I been? California?..No. Australia?..No. In fact I haven't been anywhere. Just here working away trying to find a way to boost my Income has been my project for a wee while now. I decided to start looking Into Ebay & have now started selling bits & bobs. Mainly Clothes Bundles. I have been very busy listing the Items & taking pictures etc. What a buzz when somebody bids on one of your Items! I found myself almost falling off my seat, squealing with excitement when I got a 99p bid!. lol. I have almost calmed down a bit now!!!. Anyone wanting a wee peek at my Items will need to email me for details. (hint hint) lol.

My story that I was writing was put on the back burner for a bit, as I stupidly took a couple of negative comments to heart and felt like I was wasting my time. I know that I will go back to It when the time is right. I have another exciting project In the pipeline & hope to be sharing that soon too. I was off work recently for a month, with what seemed to be a trapped nerve in my neck, which caused terrible pain in my left arm. I Thought I was having a stroke! Got a rather large fright that day, I tell you. I was in hospital for the day only which was good. My B.P. was through the roof!. I went to see my good friend the week after and I secretly knew she would fix me, as she Is a Bowen Therapist. Miracle Worker In my eyes. Please look Into the concept for an alternitive pain reliever. Especially anyone experiencing constant pain.

My Family are all okay. Mister Man Is away on a bike tour today so I am enjoying eating chocolate and not having to make coffee every 5 mins! lol. My wee treasure is fine. I haven't nailed her ears to the wall yet....(Teenager! remember? lol) My 'Bairns' are all fine. Oscar is sound asleep, quite possible full up from eating half my plant!, G has fallen In love with my new (luxury kinda expensive)bed set and now thinks he Is a Lord! & Purdie Is an old lady ... when it suits her, usually during the day, at night she becomes a wild cat/kitten racing round the house having a total carry on!. I wrote my title for today's entry after a little thought. I do feel guilty at not being on here more and for not being here to support my friends more. For Jane ( A journey of another kind.... ) & Mort (caring and sharing) & all you others battling away, I am always here If you need me. A special message For Val, Joann, Lisa, & Guido for nudging me along to come back here again... Thank You. I must now, however go and start cooking that dinner before Mister Man arrives. There Is nothing quite like the smell of a Roast Sunday dinner wafting through the house, Let's hope I remember the oven! lol. Take Care, Back Soon. xx